Any advice that is offered gratuitously without being asked can appear irritating or even insulting. However, when it comes to the best relationship advice, it can be hard to know where to look or from who to receive direction. Relationship advice is a delicate subject across the board.
We have all heard the tried and true phrases our mothers teach us like “don’t go to bed angry” or “respect is important,” but do these tips always help us when it comes to the actual complexity of relationships on a daily basis?
Although those phrases can help guide us with the basics, there are a few more layers to consider that could help your complex relationships to thrive. Here are my top general tips for relationship advice:
Be candid, open, and honest about all of your feelings.
Regularly communicating about how you are feeling builds strength within your relationships. Remember to not only communicate the good but also the situations with which you are struggling. It's never easy to address but by ignoring things and letting them build up, it is much more likely to cause a huge rift later down the line.
Discuss recurring issues and then fix them.
Every relationship has issues that continue to rise up and cause tension. Whatever they may be, not dealing with them doesn't help anyone. Identifying recurring conflicts and deciding mutually on appropriate solutions will help diffuse them in the future and make your relationships ultimately more satisfying.
Don’t expect your partner to be everything.
So many of us want our partner to be our best friend, perfect co-parent, companion, confidante, and passionate lover. And you should definitely expect your partner to meet some of those needs. However, they don’t need to encompass absolutely every quality known to mankind. So if you feel like your partner just isn’t ticking off every box, there are healthy ways to have that need met by other friendships and relationships in your life without feeling resentful of what they lack.
Back up your words with actions.
Saying and doing are two separate things. So don't just say "I love you." Show your partner you love them through your actions. It doesn't have to be extravagant. It can be through simple gestures like making coffee for them in the morning, warming up their car, or getting their favorite ice cream. Explore the concept of love languages and know which one is yours and which one is most important to them. Try to communicate effectively and openly so that you can mostly try to meet each other's respective needs in this way.
Constructive Arguments.
Every couple fights, but arguing constructively can make a huge difference. Be specific about how your partner’s actions impact you, and make sure to shift your language to share how your partner's behavior made you feel, rather than just telling them what to do.
Sure, no one is perfect, but there are always certain couples we can admire. The ones who seem to navigate conflict well, or always seem to have a united front. Whatever you admire about them, seek out their advice on their steps to have seemingly achieved that quality. If their advice seems reasonable and you can agree with it, bring it up to your partner and see if it might be something that would work for you both to incorporate.
To learn more about healthy relationships, check out my two blogs: Healthy Relationships For The New Year or Relationship Advice For Doing Date Nights At Home. If you're looking for a more in depth look into relationships, check out my fun book about dating, "Don't Eat The Scraps."