Finding love can be difficult. Are you single? Do you find it challenging to find the right person? It's easy to get discouraged when you have trouble finding the right person for you.
Single life has its advantages, such as having fun with your friends, having the freedom and independence to do as you please, as well as the ability to appreciate the peaceful moments of solitude. But if you are ready to share your life and build a lasting relationship with someone, it can be frustrating to live as a single person.
Many of us find connecting with the right romantic partner difficult because of our own emotional baggage. Maybe you were raised in a family that didn't have a role model for a healthy, stable relationship. Maybe your past relationships are a series of short flings and you don't know what it takes to build a lasting relationship.
A past issue could make you attract the wrong person, or cause you to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. You might not be putting yourself in the right environment to meet the right person or you don't feel confident enough when you do.
No matter what your situation, you can overcome it. The following relationship advice will help you find a loving, healthy relationship, and have a positive mindset throughout the dating process.
Expectations regarding dating and finding love
Many people start looking for long-term partners or romantic relationships with predetermined expectations about how a partner should behave, what the relationship should look like, and what roles each partner should play.
These expectations could be based on your family's history, peer influence, past experiences or ideals seen in TV and movies. Unrealistic expectations can make a potential partner feel inadequate and can even lead to a disappointing new relationship.
Think about what is most important
You need to be clear about what you want from a partner before you begin dating or start a relationship. Wants can be negotiated, but needs are set in stone.
Don't be too rigid when it comes to your ideas about occupation, or physical attributes like height, weight, hair color, and body type. You'll find that certain traits aren’t essential and can become limiting over time, while others- like shared values- are non-negotiable.
What feels right to you?
For lasting love, look beyond what is obvious and what others think is right. Then ask yourself if the relationship feels right for you. This is your life and your relationship- think about what you need and what makes you feel loved.
Tip 1 for dating: Keep things in perspective
Do not make the search for a partner the center of your life. Focus on the things you love, your career, your health, and your relationships with family members and friends. You will be happier and more open to meeting someone special if you keep a positive mindset in other areas of your life. If you create a rich, fulfilled life, you’ll be happier single and with a partner.
Be honest about your flaws. Everybody has flaws. To have a lasting relationship, someone should love you as you are- not the person they think you should be. You might find something you think is a flaw is appealing to someone else. You can encourage your partner to let go of all pretenses, which can result in a more honest and fulfilling relationship. Reassure your partner and let them know you accept and love them as they are.
First impressions aren’t everything. Internet dating is a great option, especially since the pandemic hit in 2020. But there’s a catch- the biggest drawback of online dating is that it takes time to get to know someone beyond a profile.
You’ll need to spend time with someone in different contexts to get a comprehensive understanding of who they are. How does the person respond to pressure, when things aren't going as planned, when they're frustrated or tired?
Tip 2 - Create an authentic connection
Nervousness can make dating difficult. It is natural to be anxious about how you will look and whether your date will like it. No matter how awkward or shy you may feel, you can conquer your fears and make a great connection.
Be genuine. Your date will notice if you pretend to care or listen but aren't. People don't like being manipulated or placated. Your efforts to make an impression and build rapport with your date will likely backfire. It is not worth pursuing a relationship with someone you don't really like.
Concentrate on the outside, not the inside. Focus your attention on the words and actions of your date and what's happening around you to combat nerves. Being fully present in the moment can help you forget about worries and insecurity.
Show interest. It's a sign that you are truly interested in the thoughts, feelings, stories, and opinions of others. Your date will love you for it. Your date will find you more interesting and attractive than if your only goal is to make yourself look better. If you don't feel genuinely interested in your partner, it's not worth pursuing the relationship.
Tip 3 - Make fun your priority
While online dating, singles events and matchmaking services such as speed dating can be enjoyable for some, they can also feel like job interviews. There is a huge difference between finding the right job and finding true love, no matter what dating experts may tell you.
Instead of spending your time exclusively on dating websites, use your free time as an opportunity to embrace new hobbies or attend events.
Have fun. You'll find new friends and people with similar values and interests by engaging in activities that you enjoy. Even if you don’t find the perfect person, you’ll still enjoy yourself and may even find a like-minded community.
Tip 4 - Handle rejection gracefully
Everyone who is looking for love will also have to deal with rejection. Rejection is a normal part of dating- and although it may feel like it, it’s not the end of the world. You can still find love after rejection, and in many cases it'll make you appreciate that new and better relationship even more.
Handling rejection is much easier if you keep a positive mindset and are honest with yourself and others. Accepting that rejection is part of dating is important, but don’t let fear of rejection become debilitating.
Looking for a deeper dive into relationship and dating advice? Pick up my best-selling book, "Don't Eat the Scraps" by clicking here.
Are you struggling to adopt a positive mindset in other areas of your life? I have lots of content and helpful blog posts for you like the one on how to have a positive mindset.